Today’s topic is the second part of a series of posts intended as a way for you to get to know a little bit about your host (me). In particular, this series focuses on my essence and survival mechanisms. Who am I being when I’m simply in authenticity? How am I showing up when I am triggered? The intent of these posts is three-fold: First, to provide you an understanding of how I operate, and what makes me tick. Second, to share transparently, and vulnerably, as part of my own journey in integrity. Third, in the hopes that you will take away something for yourself – maybe in the way you choose to show up, or simply recognizing that you are responsible for the day you are having. If you would like to read the first post in the series, you can do so here. The second part of my essence is wit.
Wit plays a powerful role in both my essence and my survival mechanism. As a child, I learned very early on that if I made people laugh, they liked me. In my head, that created a very simple equation: if someone is upset, angry, annoyed, disappointed, or even at a risk of disapproving of me, make them laugh. I will write on my survival mechanisms later on, but for now, suffice it to say that wit is a way of being for me, as well as something that I do when I'm threatened.
If you have trouble differentiating between those two, it goes something like this. When I'm just being myself, my wit comes out naturally. I play with words, I make turns of phrases, and I introduce levity and laughter into the room. When I'm feeling threatened or triggered, I use wit as a tool. I go out of my way to make jokes (at times desperately) in order to generate a certain result (such as someone liking me, or to deflect any unwanted attention from myself).
The wit of my essence represents my love of play and an access point to my life purpose of creating joy. Through wit, I can make people laugh - even when they're scared, frightened, feeling upset, worried, or struggling to get through their own stuff. Wit opens up a space for us to play in. It allows us to take life a little less seriously.
For some people, a coach that uses humour as a way to keep things fun and light might not be desirable. Some people genuinely want gravitas in their coaching. This is serious business, and they want it taken seriously! There's nothing wrong with that. It's simply not the coach that I represent.
For me, life is deadly serious, and completely absurd. I assert that simply by virtue of you reading this post, you have won the genetic lottery. You, of all possible combinations of zygote and gamete, have been born into this beautiful existence. Not only that, but you live with sufficient wealth to have a computer, access to the internet, and the spare-time to read posts such as this one. When we consider the enormity of odds against our own individual existence, it can be hard not to laugh.
Wit is my ability to remind myself and my clients that life doesn't have to be hard, difficult, burdensome or a drudge. There's certainly frustrations along the way, and there will be times when we are as stuck as we can be; unable to get ourselves out of our own habitual patterns. Wit creates a space to play, even in those moments.
Wit, gaeity and laughter are my way of giving permission, both to myself and the world, to have fun. To lighten up and take things with a little less significance. Often times, when we allow ourselves to laugh and ease up, the solutions to our problems become a little more clear. With less significance weighing down upon our souls, it becomes easier to see new ways of being, new paths forward, and new directions we can take.
When there isn't as much significance surrounding a decision, it's a lot easier to live in possibility. Hey, maybe it could be possible for you to make your living doing that thing you actually love, instead of that thing you took on because you thought it would make money.
Most powerfully, wit provides us an access point to see into our blindspots. It can be hard to be made present to the things that we do that perpetuate what we don't like. With a little wit, we can take ourselves less seriously, and laugh at the way we are showing up. When we can look at our habits with love and laughter, it becomes a lot easier to detach ourselves from them and take on something new. The more we resist something, the greater we are pulled back to it.
To me, wit provides the ability to see how absurd our very existence is, and how beautiful it is as a result.
So, I invite you to embrace it all - the absurdity, the seriousness, the successes and the failures. If you can laugh with an open heart, you can take on anything (and I promise you that by working with me, that is exactly what we will do!).