For those that like to listen, rather than read, you can download the audio file here: http://www.evergrowthcoaching.com/Podcast%20Files/Evergrowth%20Coaching%20-%20How%20can%20I%20get%20through%20to%20you%3Ame.m4a
We, are pattern machines.
In fundamentals of computer science (so basically exploring the very concept of what a computer is, as opposed to programming one), there's a concept called a Turing machine.
A Turing machine is basically a black box (which means some device, whose inner workings we don't know anything about) that you can feed in a piece of tape, and it will execute the instructions on that piece of tape.
We're kind of like Turing machines. We have our programming, and you feed us in input that we then respond to.
Even cooler, we can write our own patterns or programs! The only drawback to this awesome ability is that we often forget that we've written the programming in the first place. We assume that that is the way we've always been, and that that is how things always will be.
So, at our core, we have two fundamental pieces. On the one hand, we have the programming that we've written for ourselves. Think of this as all of the stories that you've got about yourself. Here are some of mine:
- I have an addictive personality
- I'm bad at intimacy
- I'm awkward and uncomfortable in conversations
- I'm a disappointment
- I'm not doing enough
- I'm failing, or minutes away from failing
That's my programming. That's the first piece.
The second piece is all of the input we get from the world around us. That gets put into our programming.
Programming is essentially just a pattern. Given a particular set of data, we execute a particular pattern.
So, when someone in a conversation with me looks at their watch (that's the input), I create meaning from that, based on my programming. My pattern goes: It clearly means they're finding me awkward, and eager to get out of the conversation. The next step in my pattern is to end the conversation abruptly, or, start making a shitload of jokes to liven up the conversation.
Ironically, my pattern actually creates the very situation it's seeking to address, because that abrupt end or machine gunning of jokes usually comes out of nowhere and is pretty awkward.
So, rather than actually resolve the perceived issue, my pattern is actually responsible for creating it. Your patterns work the same way.
It's really simple to break up a pattern. I'm going to give you the one step you need to solve all of your problems and break up your programming.
Are you ready?
Are you excited? I'm about to give away the magic sauce.
Here it is:
Do anything other than the next step in the pattern
You thought it was going to be something different didn't you?
Here's the problem. It's simple, but like all things simple, it isn't easy. Simple is usually hard, because we put our heads in the way.
So I've been doing a lot of work around my vision for the future, what I want to create, and what's next for me. What is the big "what for" that has me playing this game?
Why bother building a bigger practice? Things are good enough right now, right? I mean, a life that is 8/10 is better than 79% of the people out there are living (just bare with me on the percentages). It looks great to a lot of people. There's nothing wrong with a good life. So why not play that game?
Why strive for something bigger and better?
And there's the crux of my pattern.
The reflection I got after my last post was two-fold:
- Your visioning sounds like its still coming from your head; and
- It sounds like you're still striving. Let go of the striving.
You know what happens when I'm confronted with my pattern of striving for the sake of striving?
I STRIVE NOT TO STRIVE.
I work really fucking hard to not strive.
Oh, how cute. Look at that. We're right back taking the next step of my pattern.
So, where do we go from here?
Hey, I don't know either. I'm just hanging out in the unknown, doing my best to let go of all the striving. But you can see that this isn't a problem I'm going to be able to resolve on my own, right? My programming feeds back in to itself (and so does yours).
Are you having this same conversation with yourself? If you are, stop it. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. I want to talk with you. Have that conversation with me. Get out of your own head, and get into conversation. Let's talk — not so that we can work together, but because I'm interested in knowing ME more deeply, and maybe you are too.
Reach out, goddammit.