I don't think this is what I'm looking for...

Downloadable audio available here. http://evergrowthcoaching.com/Podcast%20Files/Evergrowth%20Coaching%20-%20I%20don%27t%20think%20this%20is%20what%20I%27m%20looking%20for.m4a

 

"I don't think this is what I'm looking for right now", a friend told me when I invited him to the workshop Bay and I are putting on in January.

I got that e-mail on my phone as I was walking back home from my friend, and lawyer's, office.

"Hmph", I thought, and stuffed my phone back into my pocket.

Then I continued walking.

Cold.  Damp.  Loud traffic.

And then this time — this time I choose differently.

"Cool", I decide.

I have a realization.

I didn't invite this person because I wanted him to say "Yes".

I invited him because I wanted to invite him.  His response is irrelevant.

Certainly, I'd love to have him in the room with us.  He'd call us forward.  He'd raise the bar for all of us, to be in that room, including himself.  But him saying "Yes" or "No" doesn't have any bearing on the fact that I've already created something different for both of us.

His saying "No", triggered me, momentarily.  It caught me, and pulled my focus back to a result that was related to but not a requirement of the whole reason I was asking in the first place.

In fact, his response is simply an indication — a reflection — of the victory I've already created.  If I hadn't asked in the first place, the opportunity for him to respond would have never arisen.

Only then can I remember that I love him regardless.

I smile at the person passing me and continue walking.

Crisp.  Fresh.  The hustle and bustle of Christmas on the streets and sidewalks.