I posted this post last week. I posted it, because it was real, raw, authentic, and because I'm taking on a practice around fear. Here's what a practice around fear looks like: Every time I'm scared to do something, I then have to do it.
Sometimes, when I share that with people, they say "Wow, that sounds really hard".
It's really simple. You feel fear, then you do it.
It only becomes hard when you put your head in between feeling fear and actually doing it. If you leave your head out of the equation, it becomes really simple. Not easy — simple.
Anyhow, I've done a bunch of scary things since I took on this practice. But that post was the hardest one for me to sit with, because it has a degree of permanence. That's not something I crafted, or made up, or that I created with an intent to provide you a lesson, or a series of ten tips you could take away ("If I don't provide them with value, they'll all leave me").
Here are some other thoughts I've had since posting it:
- What the fuck is that doing on the blog of a coaching business's website?
- What kind of value is that providing people?
- You look stupid for posting that.
- You're a whiner that is wallowing. Take that shit down.
- That sort of thing is fine for Facebook because it's transient, but here, it will stay forever.
The other scary things I did were easier to push back into the background. They were temporary. Sure, in that moment last week, I struck up a conversation with a stranger in Starbucks, but then I ended the conversation, and I can go back to being nice safe old me.
Well, here's the thing:
Fuck nice, safe, old me, and fuck nice, safe, old you.
That person is boring and safe. They aren't providing anything new, they're keeping me, and you, in the old.
When I put that post out there, I got scared, because I feared that I would have clients leave me.
And you know what? My fears came true. Clients have left me.
Here's why they left me: I'm not the coach for them.
The more I step in to my own integrity, the more that will push away people that were attracted to something different.
My job (and yours) as a leader is to create 1's and 10's. Anything in between is about living life safely. If you want to create a life that you love, you have got to be willing to risk the stuff that is safe. As long as you're hanging on to the 2's through 9's, you're not allowing space for the 10's to come through the door.
I'm not a coach that will provide you with ten tips to improve your time management, and I'm definitely not a coach that will hold your hand while you take safe steps towards your dreams.
I'm a coach for people that want to create an amazing life RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Have you ever asked yourself "WHY AM I SITTING AROUND HERE? WHY AREN'T I STEPPING IN TO WHAT'S NEXT?" (Does the voice inside your head shout at you?) If so, then I'm your coach.
I'm not posting this sort of stuff because I want to slowly step in to the future that I could be living. I'm doing it because I'm committed to living a life that is amazing, passionate, and ridiculously authentic, RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
My people recognize that the heart of their power lies in their authenticity. They know, somewhere, that their vulnerability actually gives them the power to let go of any need to protect themselves.
If this quote resonates with you, we should be talking: "Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world -- even if what is published is not true."
You know what was ironic? When those clients finally did say goodbye to me, it wasn't such a big deal after all. And when I go back and read that post, I realize, that's not such a big deal either.
P.S. Notice how I'm not posting photos any more? That's because it takes a bunch of time to find them, and I don't enjoy any aspect of searching for them. I'm told by people that posting photos will help me generate an audience, because it looks more interesting when a blog post gets shared on social media. I don't care about that. I don't want to gain an audience by doing something that isn't fun for me. If you like reading these posts, help me out — sign-up for our newsletter, and share our posts.