What's the big rush?

thelifeyouwantI've been asked some great questions by potential clients. I'm going to share them, along with my thoughts and responses. There are a lot of questions about coaching, which I think is a good thing. I'm honoured to have the chance to respond!

  • Question: What's the big rush? Why work with a coach? Aren't I getting where I need to be? Won't coaching destabilize that path?

First, the way I (and others in the field of ontological coaching) hold it is that you are just fine, right now, as you are. There are a lot of people on this big old planet, out there, doing what they do and getting by just fine. You are perfect and exactly where you need to be. We don’t coach people because they need something; we coach them because they have expressed a desire for something else, which may be something they know they want, or may be something completely new that they don’t yet know.

In short, I don't coach people who need coaching; I coach people who want coaching. People who see coaching to be a way to dig deep, shift some habits, rewire some thought patterns and create their life, their way, in a new, powerful and distinguished way. People who get that they are in their own way and are ready to step forward into something new. For some people, momentum is found in slowing down, creating presence and gratitude in their lives. Coaching is not about rushing. I don't push. I invite.

I agree: Life isn’t a race and we’ll all get where we are going, when we’re there. Choosing to come from a new and empowered place in life isn’t necessarily about making changes because something isn’t working: Every person has a different reason for working with a coach. I don’t coach people who are broken and need/want fixing. I coach amazing and powerful people who want to change their relationship with their life (and any part of it) and come from a place of empowered choice. Sometimes, I coach people who are bored, who feel stuck. Sometimes, I coach people who know exactly what they want. Either way, I coach people who are successful, inspiring and accomplished, and who want more, or something new, different and challenging in their lives.

So yeah, there’s no hurry, so to speak. I mean, apart from the fact that we're all of us going to die and don't know which day will be our last. I'm not trying to sound morbid, here, but it's true: You're going to die someday. Hopefully, it's a long way off. What do you want to do with your time until then?

[Tweet "You're going to die someday. What do you want to do with your time until then?"]

A lot of people (in my opinion) spend a lot of time doing things that they don’t really care about, because somewhere along the way, they lost sight of what was really important to them, or somehow decided or believed that what they wanted to do was not practical or realistic. For them, that is. Other people get to do it, but not us. Sometimes we think other people have something special (like fate, money or luck) that enabled their success. I'd assert that those successful people just didn't give up when others did.

People work with me because they have decided to make changes, so to them, it’s not about being in a hurry; it’s about creating movement where there was none previously, or perhaps it wasn’t moving enough, or in the right direction. If you're worried about disturbing your fate, then, well, you might very well do so. Hallelujah. It's probably about time.

Clients choose when and how far/fast to push forward. I know this, for sure; after all, I work with a coach, too. Coaching is about the client. You choose all of it.

Yes, you're fine where you are. But that doesn't mean you can't choose your direction and be at cause for change (you are anyway, even if you're not aware you're doing it).

It's your life. There's no rush. But, if you want to create a life you love, then I can't help but ask: Why wait?